Choosing a 24/7 Mistress
All too often, a submissive will go with a Mistress after little
more than the most cursory conversation. Online and in R/L, this is a
recipe for disaster, both mentally and physically.
* Communication. Communication between submissive and Mistress must be open,
honest and without fear or retribution. How else does a Mistress know
what your limits are?* Honesty. Be honest about yourself and your desires, fears and
situation. Little lies can cause big trouble later on.
* Patience. It may take time to find the right person, but the rewards
are worth the wait. Impatient submissives can end up in the hospital.
* Safety. You must protect yourself. This means safe words and safe
calls, among other things. Any Mistress who says they are not necessary
should be avoided at all costs.
* Trust. A submissive must trust his Mistress. This is the basis of the
relationship. Without trust, there is nothing.
This is one of the best descriptions I have ever seen of what the Dominant/submissive relationship should be. The Mistress… Above all else, she cherishes her submissive, in the knowledge that the gift he gives her is the greatest of all. She is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to her, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift. She is in control of herself first and foremost, so that she may control others. As a stern and demanding Mistress, she can cause her submissive to cry real tears with just a look. In times of trouble, a Mistress will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.She is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. She would never ask a submissive to put her before his career, or family, just to satisfy her own pleasure. To win her submissive’s mind, body and soul, she knows she must first win his trust. She will show her submissive humor, kindness, and warmth. She must also show him that her guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of his attention, that this is a woman he can learn from, and trust her direction. She proves to him that she is someone he can lean on, and depend on.
Quick to point out the differences between them, she also knows there is no inferiority in those differences. When it comes time to teach her submissive his lessons of obedience, she is strong and unyielding. She will accept no less than his best, when he attends to her. Never does she use discipline without good reason. When she does, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand. She is a careful guide, with safety always her main concern. She knows how to use pain to extend the bounds of pleasure. She is a mentor who can bring him to the edge of his limits, and gently show him the inner courage to reach new heights. She is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear his wants and needs. She is patient, taking the time to learn his limits, and knowing that as his trust of her grows, so will they. She never has to demand ritual behavior by him. He responds to her out the want of pleasing her. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. She understands the fragile nature of mind and body, and never violates the trust given to her. She is secure enough to laugh at herself and the absurdities of life. Courageous enough to accept assistance. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. Her tools are mind, body, spirit and soul with a little help from flogger, whip and blindfold. She understands that each partner gains most from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love is the only binding that truly holds.